Sex and money consistently rank as the top two reasons why couples𒁏 fight. In both cases, one member of the pair just can't seem to get enough of what they view as a scarce commodity. According to nearly every survey on the topic, arguments about money have the dubious honor of being the nu♊mber one source of conflict between married people.
According to a booklet entitled "Making Marriage Last," published by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, problems relating to financial matters are a major reason why marriages break down.
Key Takeaways
- Money disagreements, or lack of open and constructive conversations about it, are one of the main reasons for fights in relationships.
- To avoid fights, couples should set ground rules and a budget for how money should be spent and invested.
- Honesty is the best policy, as it helps avoid resentment.
- Avoid arguing if a middle ground can’t be reached and seek the help of a counselor or mediator.
- Teamwork is the "dream-work" with a couple’s finances—set goals together and if an expenditure doesn’t fit or help meet those goals then avoid it.
The Facts
澳洲幸运5官方开奖结果体彩网:Managing your finances is a chore. Like all the chores c♉ouples need to complete (everything from cutting the grass and taking out the trash, washing the dishes, and cleaning the bathroom), the division of labor is rarely 50/50. When it comes to money, one spouse may be more interested in managing it, while the other is interested in doing the spending. Sometimes, one spous𓂃e won't even talk or think about the topic.
The less-interested spouse often views money 💝as a means of control and may believe that the person holding the purse strings gets ♍to make the decisions.
While the essence of that viewpoint is accurate, the person managing money often views saving instead of spending as merely the proper way of staying out of debt and never thinks about it in terms of control. Because people can have such very different views about money, sometimes it's best to seekꦉ common ground before discussing exactly how this week's paycheck will be spent.
The Rules
To keep money from becoming an obstacle in your relationship, you need to set ground rules for how your household will handle the topic. Put these rules in place before you enter into a spending-related dispute. The thick of an argumꦬent is not a great place to try and come to a consensus.
While your spouse won't be too happy about your $300 splurge on a new putter or high-end purse, you shouldn't attempt to cover up or lie about your extravagant expense. Relationships rooted in truth are far stronger than those based on deceit.
Important
Here are two basic rules for interacting with your spouse when making spending decisions: Don't hide it and don't lie about it.
Once you've both agreed to be honest, you need a way to break stalemates at decision time. The best choice here is that consensus rules.
Of course, if you can't find common ground on a particular decision, you should agree in advance that prudence takes precedence. With prudence as your guideline, you will be more likely to make the choice to save instead of spend when you can't agree that spending is a good idea. Setting up a budget can be a great way to develop a mutually agreed-upon vi🏅sion of your spending and saving habits.
If you set rules, but still can't come to an agreement, consider counseling. Arguing is often unproductive; throwing up your hands and walking away rarely accomplishes much. Sometimes, an impartial moderator can help frustrated couples see eye to eye. The key is to stay engaged in the process as you develop spending habits you are happy with as a couple and as individuals.
However, if you dislike dealing with money so much that you willingly delegate all responsibility for spending-related decisions, be willing to live with the consequences of such an approach. It's not fair to your partner if you don't help and won't stay engaged, but still complain.
Teamwork
Making mon🥃ey decisio🧜ns is part of building a life together. The building process should be constructive, so you need to work hand-in-hand, not in opposition. Set goals together, and spend your money in ways that will bring you closer to achieving those goals.
If a particular expenditure doesn't lead you toward your goals, avoid the expenditure. Don't let conspicuous consumption lead you astray. If you're working together as a team instead of 澳洲幸运5官方开奖结果体彩网:fighting about money, you just might have enough time and energy left over to put some effort into g𝓰etting that other scarce resource that you've been seeking.
Why Do Couples Fight About Money So Often?
Money is frequently a source of conflict in relationships because people have different attitudes toward spendi🌠ng, saving, and control. One partner might prioritize saving for the future, while the other focuses on enjoying life in the present. These different priorities can create tension, especially if open communication about finances is lacking.
How Can Couples Prevent Money From Causing Fights?
Couples can prevent money-related conflicts by setting clear rules about spending, establishing a joint budget, and practicing honesty with each other. It's important to agree on financial goals and work together as a team so that both partners feel included in decision-making and no one feels the need to hide or lie about their spending.
What Should a Couple Do if They Can't Agree on Financial Decisions?
If couples can't reach an agreement on financial decisions, it's helpful to agree in advance that prudence and saving should take precedence. If conflicts persist, they might consider seeking counseling or working with a financial mediator to find a balanced approach that satisfies both partners, rather than letting the issue create ongoing friction.
The Bottom Line
Financial disagreements are a leading cause of conflict in relationships,ꦇ often arising from differing views on spending and control. To avoid these disputes, couples should establish clear ground rules, practice honesty, and create a budget that reflects their shared🐻 goals.
Open communication is essential, and if consensus can't be reached, seeking professional help may be the best way to find common ground. By working as a team and making financial decisions together, couples can reduce tension and build a stronger, more harmonious relationship.